Show 213 A Q&A on Can Finding Your Purpose Help In Healing?

Listen to the podcast and view the video now at:

Here’s a fun snippet from our episode, Can Finding Your Purpose Help In Healing? Guest expertAni Anderson, the creator of the Find Your Soul’s Agenda process and co-creator of Sensation-Based Mindset coaching shows us how to discover your soul agenda to navigate life’s challenges with grace and gratitude rather than the toxic emotions that ultimately affect our health, vitality, and quality of life.

Ani Anderson, MS, OT, LMT, CEMP, SBMC has had many outward successes in her life, from Broadway to business, however her most treasured success has been becoming a person, wife, and parent that she’s proud to be. She is the author of ‘Find Your Soul’s Agenda: The One Word That Will Make Your Whole Life a Success.’

SHARON: I love this chapter title and the contents of the chapter: “Life is simple but we make it complex.” I want to ask a rabbit hole-type question. Why is it that we tend to focus on the drama and the negativity and the “why-me’s” and the “oh-boy’s” and not see all the positives?

ANI: I think there are a lot of ways to answer that question but the one I’m going to choose right now is that we’re used to it; that’s what most people do. We want to bond with each other; we want to connect with each other.

Oftentimes, in our society, the way that we do that is to connect over drama and negativity. We don’t have to but…. I remember when I started to learn how to connect over other things besides drama and negativity, it felt really weird at first. Those aren’t the conversations that most people are used to having.

SHARON: That’s absolutely true ─ drama, negativity, bad things happening to you or the weather. I find, sometimes, that when I’m all excited about stuff, I’ll bump into people who want to bring me down about it. I find that fascinating. I’m like, “Just jump on my happy train. Let’s go!” and they want to throw us all off the train.

There’s another line in here that I love, too, because I’ve always said this ─ and people look at me strangely but I think we’re soul sisters here: “Striving to be normal is dangerous.”

I love that. That’s one of my notes here because I always say, “Nobody wants to be average; everybody wants to be normal.” And we bring down those people who are exceptional.

I never understand that but I love this: “Striving to be normal is dangerous.” Tell us your opinion about it from your book.

ANI: I love your ideas about it so much. We look at the newspapers and we see these statistics. We see how many people are stressed out and we see how many people are sick and how many people are divorced, medicated, unhappy, whatever it is, and we say, “I don’t want to be that person.” Yet, we strive for connection. When we strive for the connection, a lot of times, what we’re doing is, again, bonding over those things that keep us sick, stuck, and negative.

I’m a firm believer in finding out what it means to be your natural self as much as it does go against society’s ‘grain’ ─ embracing your true nature.

SHARON: Growing up, I think this is very common and I’ve heard it on the show many times ─ phrases such as “Who do you think you are?” or “Are you getting too big for your breaches?”

These types of phrases create what I’ll call an “undercurrent of minor trauma.” And when I use the word “minor,” I don’t mean to diminish it. And, it’s different from a car wreck or a death. It’s a slow trickle of all of those kinds of traumas which add up to a major trauma to where, all of a sudden, we don’t know who we are just because you repeatedly hear the phrase, “Who do you think you are?” usually with a disparaging type of voice tone.

Let’s walk through some of the processes you share in your great book, Find Your Soul’s Agenda, on how we get past that and actually find out who we are.

ANI: The Find Your Soul’s Agenda process is based on memory recapitulation. We look at a holistic view of a person’s life by asking them, “What were your best memories in childhood, your personal life, and your professional life?”

In that way, we get a few different aspects of a person’s life.

I just want to say that some people don’t have any best memories that they can come up with for certain aspects of their lives, and that’s totally okay. It ends up working out in the process.

After we do that, we look at each memory and we determine “How did that memory make me feel?” and we try to come up with either one word or short phrases of words that are illustrate “How did I feel?” in that memory; and what that’s doing is really pointing towards how we really want to feel in our life. And so, we make this big list of feeling quality words and we go through an elimination round where we go two by two and we dwindle the list down to a small of a list as possible.

Hopefully, it will be one word. Sometimes, it’s two or three. But, hopefully, it will be one word and that’s what we call the “soul agenda word.”

From there, what we do is define that word because if we don’t, then, we’re going off of society’s definition for what that word means.

One of the places I was stuck in my own journey and my own purpose work for a while was not being able to really figure out what the words meant that somebody else was telling me ─ “You’re like this. You’re like that.” And the words were hollow.

After we define what the word means for ourselves, and then we come up with a purpose statement. The purpose statement has to do with how you love to feel in the world and how you love to influence others.

There’s one last really important step in the process, and that is looking at how you don’t love to feel. It’s looking at what we call the “polarity.” And the polarity is really important because, as an individual, we’re like two sides of a coin. We’re like a quarter where I could either be looking at the heads or I could be looking at the tails.

What’s really fascinating about that is when you’re looking at the heads of a quarter, you know the tail is there but you don’t see it.

You can’t see it until you turn around. And when you’re looking at the tails, you know the head is there but you can’t see it until you turn it around. And that’s how we are. We’re like the quarter.

In life, sometimes, we can only see the heads; and, sometimes, we can only see the tails. But once we understand ourselves from a holistic point of view that encompasses both sides of life that we love to experience and the sides of life that we don’t love to experience ─ those are two sides of the same person ─ we can really understand who we are from a holistic point of view.

SHARON: I’m glad you mentioned that part about not having particular memories from certain areas, and that was fine.

You mentioned that you got stuck, too. When we get stuck in those places, what are some things that will help us get unstuck?

ANI: That’s one of the reasons why I love this process so much. When I started to look for my purpose on my own, I was really stuck in my own life and I was on the tail side of my quarter. I did not like how I felt in life and I felt very stuck.

I took a few purpose courses; and the purpose courses, as lovely as they were, were one-sided. It was telling me about a “me” that I couldn’t identify with at all. And it was because I was so far-off base from that. My life was crumbled. I just couldn’t see those light aspects of myself.

I couldn’t identify with the words that were being used to describe who I was.

What I do now, because of the soul agenda process, is I recognize anytime I’m in that polarity, on that back side of the quarter or anytime I’m in an experience in my life where I don’t love how I feel, I understand that I’m still on purpose.

That’s the key aspect. I thought before that I wasn’t on purpose unless I was happy and successful and healthy and all of that stuff.

That’s not true. Our purpose is to live life and we can, actually, articulate ourselves, who we are and our authenticity. And when we use the soul agenda process, we’re able to articulate our lives in a holistic way.

So when I get in those places where I’m stuck, I know I’m still on purpose. It’s really fascinating.

SHARON: Thank you Ani Anderson for sharing your Soul Agenda process. Everyone, have a great week whatever your adventures. Join me next Friday for a brand new episode.

As always, enjoy!


Add comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join The Courage Club

Join us in the Autoimmune Show's Courage Club, where we bring together top experts and courageous first-hand stories of those with autoimmune to bring you the latest insights about how to thrive regardless of your diagnosis.

Sign up below to be the first to find out about new shows, get the transcripts of previous shows, plus an immediate download of the helpful ebook ‘Five Things You Can Do Immediately That Will Help You Feel Better.’

About Your Host, Sharon Sayler

Your host, Sharon Sayler is a certified executive and wellness coach, communications trainer, public speaker, best selling author, and the founder of Competitive Edge Communications who specializes in teaching professionals critical nonverbal and body language skills including how to have those critical “tough” conversations. She teaches how to up-your-impact on the stage, in the boardroom, with clients, customers, team members and even how to deal with difficult people.

Now, she's taken those skills, her passion for clear and competent communication, her own experience dealing with a rare medical condition and her frustration with the medical community in understanding what it is like to have a chronic and complicated medical condition to teach others to become courageous self-advocates so they too can turn life transitions into triumphs. One way she spreads the word is through the podcast and videocast called The Autoimmune Show: Inspiring hope and help for those with autoimmune.

Thank you for visiting Be sure and join the Courage Club here at

Aware of our potential to make a difference, we support:


We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.
Cookies settings
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active

Privacy Policy

What information do we collect?

We collect information from you when you register on our site or place an order. When ordering or registering on our site, as appropriate, you may be asked to enter your: name, e-mail address or mailing address.

What do we use your information for?

Any of the information we collect from you may be used in one of the following ways: To personalize your experience (your information helps us to better respond to your individual needs) To improve our website (we continually strive to improve our website offerings based on the information and feedback we receive from you) To improve customer service (your information helps us to more effectively respond to your customer service requests and support needs) To process transactions Your information, whether public or private, will not be sold, exchanged, transferred, or given to any other company for any reason whatsoever, without your consent, other than for the express purpose of delivering the purchased product or service requested. To administer a contest, promotion, survey or other site feature To send periodic emails The email address you provide for order processing, will only be used to send you information and updates pertaining to your order.

How do we protect your information?

We implement a variety of security measures to maintain the safety of your personal information when you place an order or enter, submit, or access your personal information. We offer the use of a secure server. All supplied sensitive/credit information is transmitted via Secure Socket Layer (SSL) technology and then encrypted into our Payment gateway providers database only to be accessible by those authorized with special access rights to such systems, and are required to?keep the information confidential. After a transaction, your private information (credit cards, social security numbers, financials, etc.) will not be kept on file for more than 60 days.

Do we use cookies?

Yes (Cookies are small files that a site or its service provider transfers to your computers hard drive through your Web browser (if you allow) that enables the sites or service providers systems to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain information We use cookies to help us remember and process the items in your shopping cart, understand and save your preferences for future visits, keep track of advertisements and compile aggregate data about site traffic and site interaction so that we can offer better site experiences and tools in the future. We may contract with third-party service providers to assist us in better understanding our site visitors. These service providers are not permitted to use the information collected on our behalf except to help us conduct and improve our business. If you prefer, you can choose to have your computer warn you each time a cookie is being sent, or you can choose to turn off all cookies via your browser settings. Like most websites, if you turn your cookies off, some of our services may not function properly. However, you can still place orders by contacting customer service. Google Analytics We use Google Analytics on our sites for anonymous reporting of site usage and for advertising on the site. If you would like to opt-out of Google Analytics monitoring your behaviour on our sites please use this link (

Do we disclose any information to outside parties?

We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, conducting our business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when we believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce our site policies, or protect ours or others rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses.


The minimum information we need to register you is your name, email address and a password. We will ask you more questions for different services, including sales promotions. Unless we say otherwise, you have to answer all the registration questions. We may also ask some other, voluntary questions during registration for certain services (for example, professional networks) so we can gain a clearer understanding of who you are. This also allows us to personalise services for you. To assist us in our marketing, in addition to the data that you provide to us if you register, we may also obtain data from trusted third parties to help us understand what you might be interested in. This ‘profiling’ information is produced from a variety of sources, including publicly available data (such as the electoral roll) or from sources such as surveys and polls where you have given your permission for your data to be shared. You can choose not to have such data shared with the Guardian from these sources by logging into your account and changing the settings in the privacy section. After you have registered, and with your permission, we may send you emails we think may interest you. Newsletters may be personalised based on what you have been reading on At any time you can decide not to receive these emails and will be able to ‘unsubscribe’. Logging in using social networking credentials If you log-in to our sites using a Facebook log-in, you are granting permission to Facebook to share your user details with us. This will include your name, email address, date of birth and location which will then be used to form a Guardian identity. You can also use your picture from Facebook as part of your profile. This will also allow us and Facebook to share your, networks, user ID and any other information you choose to share according to your Facebook account settings. If you remove the Guardian app from your Facebook settings, we will no longer have access to this information. If you log-in to our sites using a Google log-in, you grant permission to Google to share your user details with us. This will include your name, email address, date of birth, sex and location which we will then use to form a Guardian identity. You may use your picture from Google as part of your profile. This also allows us to share your networks, user ID and any other information you choose to share according to your Google account settings. If you remove the Guardian from your Google settings, we will no longer have access to this information. If you log-in to our sites using a twitter log-in, we receive your avatar (the small picture that appears next to your tweets) and twitter username.

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance

We are in compliance with the requirements of COPPA (Childrens Online Privacy Protection Act), we do not collect any information from anyone under 13 years of age. Our website, products and services are all directed to people who are at least 13 years old or older.

Updating your personal information

We offer a ‘My details’ page (also known as Dashboard), where you can update your personal information at any time, and change your marketing preferences. You can get to this page from most pages on the site – simply click on the ‘My details’ link at the top of the screen when you are signed in.

Online Privacy Policy Only

This online privacy policy applies only to information collected through our website and not to information collected offline.

Your Consent

By using our site, you consent to our privacy policy.

Changes to our Privacy Policy

If we decide to change our privacy policy, we will post those changes on this page.
Save settings
Cookies settings